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Thursday, February 20, 2020

Why Talking May Not Be Good for Your Relationship


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Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

For as long as most of us can remember we have been advised that whenever we are having problems with relationships, especially the romantic kind of relationships, the best way to solve such issues is to talk about it with the person involved.


People will advice you to go to see a counsellor or even talked to a shrink. Is your husband or boyfriend acting somewhat distance? Well, people would tell you the best thing to do is to speak to him about it.

Even when you’re having major problems, and you do not know what exactly it is but you just know something is wrong probably because your significant other is always on their phone and you feel they are cheating, or you just feel like there is a character change, the next thing you want to do is to talk to him.

What if I told you that sometimes it is best just to keep quiet than talk to them about it?

Do not get me wrong, just like everyone else I was brought up to believe in the power of that I have seen on relationships and emphasise on talking about your problems with your significant other. I also understand that talking about issues with the person you are with is terrific because it helps you express whatever it is that has been hidden.

When you talk about what bothers you with your significant other, you feel like a burden has been lifted off your shoulder. Really there are times when it solves everything because you have been able to bridge the gap between both of you and regain connection.

But have you ever sat down to think about the actual difference between how a man and a woman see things when it comes to a relationship? Yes a lot of us have heard about women coming from venus and men coming from Mars. How much do we actually act upon the real gender differences in the reality of our relationships?

Many relationships today turned out to become a tug-of-war where the women try as hard as they can to get their men to talk about the situations they are dealing with and even express his feelings.

The men, on the other hand, made the distinct lined to do so for a variety of reasons they may begin to act withdrawn whenever she brings up the idea of talking about what they are dealing with.

Like I said earlier said it is not a bad idea to talk about your problems you just significant other but there are specific times when talking about these problems with your most significant order is not the best idea.


As a matter of fact, if you stop bringing up the idea of talking to him about what you guys are dealing with its just might go a long way to help in your relationship.

In a study conducted recently, it was discovered that whenever women talk about their issues with your significant other, they become more relaxed while the men become anxious.

If your relationship has proven to you that this is true, then you probably need to ask yourself what good talking about the problems you are dealing with has done for your man and where it has gotten you and your relationship?

Women always have good intentions, but one thing will fail to understand is that men are completely different from us. Never expect that a man would communicate the way you would and I am guessing that every woman already knows this.

So instead of getting so upset and letting talks worsen situations, just try to take things slow and adopt a different method to solve your problems.

A little hint I’d like to drop is that men do not believe what you tell them, instead they believe what they see you do so instead of talking to your man about it let your actions do the talking.

May be doing something spontaneous in bed or coming up with a brilliant idea for a date could just be the magic you need to solve the problems you are facing instead of having a discussion that will result to a fight.

When everything becomes cool between you and the person you are dating or your husband find a nice time to see them down and ask them why men find it difficult to talk about problems you just might find answers that are not even in this article.

Share your thoughts and opinions with us in the comment section below we look forward to hearing from you.

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