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Why Couples Should Start Over on a Clean Slate?

It is a known fact that relationships are full of ups and downs. Sometimes you get so frustrated and just want to let go and be on your own or find love somewhere else, other times you just look at your significant other and feel like you have been blest beyond measure just because you have such an awesome person in your life.

When you experience those times where you get hurt over and over by your spouse, or they put up attitudes that cause so much tension to build up around you both, you might be looking for the best possible way to let go of all the heat and start over, but it might not be so easy.

In this article, we will be looking at ways in which you can your significant other can start with a clean slate and let go of all the resentment and negativity.

Nothing feels better than being away from your spouse and having beautiful thoughts about them that makes you want to board the next available flight back to their arms. No matter how long the fights and quarrels have been going on, it’s never too late to fix it if you put your mind to it.

When it comes to starting over, the opportunity might present itself, or you can create it. Many things can make a person think of changing their lives for either good or bad.

It could be because the old year is running out and you want the New Year to be different, or you just realise that your lifestyle isn’t working in favour of your relationship and you want to change so you can have a better love life.

Changing or losing your job is another reason why people might want to start their lives afresh. The goal is usually to let go of the past and become a different person altogether for your benefit.

Why do you need a clean slate strategy in your relationship?

Well, most people believe that when you love something, you let it go. But the big question is; how many people are you going to break up with and why let go when you can fix things?

Nobody ever said loving would be comfortable, so you should have it at the back of your mind that as long as your life is not as risk and your partner still loves you, starting over is an option that should be considered. After all, true love is worth fighting for, and nobody can fight your battles better than you right?

When you start afresh with your partner, you begin to see them differently from a better and positive perspective which will eventually make you both happy and set your mind free of hate and resentment.

If you have kids already, seeing that mommy and daddy are now delighted and fight less would put them in a better mental state and help them feel loved and not forced to take sides or cry themselves to sleep.

Tips on starting over

Talk about it

Let’s be real about this; Sometimes it is not easy to get a spouse to seat and talk about issues without them overreacting and trivialising such problems when they know they are wrong. But that doesn’t mean initiating such a discussion is not worth giving a shot.

Do not give up on your significant other because of their stubbornness, keep trying to see how you can talk to them and one of these days they just might be sober enough to want to talk.

When you have got your partner’s willingness to discuss, tell them how you feel and have them express their feelings about the things you both have been experiencing. Suggest a way forward and tell them that you are willing to start over and let go of all the accumulated hurt and bitterness.

You can wipe the slate clean anytime

While it is true that some people usually wait till a special day like New Year’s Eve to start on a fresh page, you do not have to be part of those people if you feel like your relationship could use some urgent repair.

New Year resolutions are very popular because they are a list of things that you wish to achieve, wrongs you want to correct, and steps you desire to take to make things in general better than they were the year before. But one thing I have come to realise is that New Year’s resolutions do not always work the way we assume they would.

Most people do not make conscious efforts to see that they do the things they had said they would do on the first day of the year. Adding your relationship to this list might not be the best of an idea.

Listen and identify what needs changing

You cannot start afresh without knowledge of what the problem is. This is why it is imperative that you listen with undivided attention when your partner lists out the things that you do to hurt them.

Listening with an open mind helps you to see things through the eyes of your partner and know what characters to work on when the both of you start over.

Forgive and mean it

It is easier to forgive than forget. But when you consciously decide to start on a clean slate with your partner, you have to forgive them their wrongdoings completely.

Set your conscience free and know that no matter what other challenges the both of you might face on your new journey, you must not refer back to the past. Digging up old occurrences would only make you feel worse and is a sign that you never really let go of the past.

Whatever the problem might be, know that you probably played a role unintentionally and nobody wins when you fight with someone you love. So, when you forgive, make sure it’s from your heart.

Set healthy boundaries

When you are starting over, make sure that you both spell out new healthy boundaries that allows you to say no when you sense a wrong approach to issues or when demands that might ruin your relationship is made.

Remember how much you used to love your partner when you just started dating? That feeling doesn’t have to fade with time. Starting on a clean slate is a chance to have those butterflies back in your belly, and you should seize the opportunity.

Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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