Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to any two people. From what I have come to understand when you’re married to a person you literally have to share everything; you have to share the same house, you have to eat the same food, you have to say your finances and you even have to share family.
Sharing is loving so I have heard but one question I have repeatedly asked people is should there be a limit to the things that you share when you are married? are there certain informations that are best kept to yourself than shared with your spouse?
while I was busy battling to answer these questions, somewhere along the line I came across the question should a money for me his wife before he sends money to his mother or offer his mother any form of financial aid?
The question of whether a man should inform his wife before offering his parents any form of financial assistance can be answered from different perspectives.
In this article we’ll be exploring different options and answering these questions from different points of views and at the end we hope you are able to handle such situation in this article will be exploring different options and answering these questions from different points of views and at the end we hope you are able to handle such situation the best way possible using the information gotten from this article.
There is a difference between seeking permission from your wife and keeping her in the know
Now for a lot of men, especially in my society it is a big deal to let your wife know how much you earn and how you spend your money. Especially because they feel if a woman knows how much money you actually have, she’s going to start making unnecessary demands.
However, if you have been able to create for yourself a home where you and your wife interact and you know how much each other earns and manage your money together, then you can now talk about the question of seeking permission before sending anybody money or just letting your wife know that you’re sending someone money.
Seeking permission would be telling your wife to ask for her approval before you send money to your family.
Now this is a very complicated issue because there are times when they need might be present and then you have to send the money to your mother without even asking your wife first and if you have beauty home where you definitely have to seek permission first and you did not do that it might lead to some form of misunderstanding.
keeping your wife in the know is a very important thing. now it is different from seeking permission because if your mother calls you and it is a very urgent situation, you have to send money immediately if you have it.
You can do so, then afterwards you explain to your wife “OK this was what happened and I had to send money home” she understands because you have told her even though u didn’t ask her before doing so.
It is a good thing that your wife knows about things like this because if another need arises in the house and she expect you’ll be able to meet the need and you come up with an excuse, the first question that comes to her mind is what have you been doing with your money?
Another thing you need to bear in mind is secrecy. Your wife might begin to feel like you’re keeping things away from her and she might begin to doubt that it was your mother who actually called asking for money.
So now that you know that there is a clear cut difference between seeking permission and keeping your wife informed, it is now left for you to decide which works for you.
Now you also need to understand that if you tell your wife before sending your mother money it necessarily isn’t you seeking permission. There are times when telling her man actually be a good thing because she might be moved to even support you or she might have a better idea.
Some people would say you have no reason to inform your wife of any financial transaction unless the both of you run a joint account. However, if you feel this way you should also be in mind that you have no right to ask your wife about how she spends her money if she doesn’t need to know how you spend your money.
Also there is something called healthy secrets if your mother is going through a situation where she needs your help and you feel telling your wife would prevent you from helping, then it’s not a bad idea if you decide to keep such a thing to yourself.
The reason for this is that you know your wife better than any other person and there are some wives who can be very jealous in fact it is safe to say wise who don’t get along fine with their mother in laws might be a handful sometimes so if you have such a wife the best thing you can do is assist your mother but make sure that you have enough funds for the running of your home so that everybody is happy and you do not have to be in the middle.
Understanding and communication
Every relationship must be built on the foundation of trust understanding and effective communication. in the absence of these three factors there is no way your relationship will run smoothly because different issues will keep coming up and you would never be able to handle them appropriately.
Now for communication to be effective the piece of information that is being passed across must be understood as intended. So if you are able to interact with your wife and make her understand things the way they really are, then you shouldn’t have a problem telling her if you have to send your mother money because you feel she probably will say you shouldn’t.
Making your wife the bad guy
A good number of men are guilty of making their wife look like the bad guy when it comes to their relationship with their parents.
Now especially if you’re the first son or the only son, your mother would feel threatened because your wife becomes the most significant woman in your life whether you like it or not.
If you begin to give your mother the impression that before you do anything for her you have to consult your wife, then you would make your mother begin to have some form of resentment for the woman you are married to regardless of whether or not the woman has an influence in your decisions there are many will tell their wives this is what they want to do and regardless of what her opinion is they go ahead and do it so never ever make your mother feel like you need your wives approval to do anything for her even if that indeed is the case.
No matter how many times you have said yes, whenever your mother needs something, the day you mistakenly say no because you cannot meet that need at the moment, your mother might think that the decision was taken because of your wife’s opinion. Never put your wife in that situation for any reason.
Some mothers can be a hand full
Some mother’s can ruin your home when they don’t like the woman you are with. For that reason, you must strive to do what is best by protecting your wife from whatever problems she might encounter when it comes to getting involved with how you deal with your mother.
In conclusion, you need to understand that you and your wife are a team and to work as a team you must understand each other. Let her know how you spend but don’t make it look like you are requesting permission.