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Friday, February 28, 2020

Have You Heard About Sexually Intelligent Women?


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Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

Recent studies show that more single women are satisfied with their sex life than men. It has also been discovered that single women have more sex than men whether they are in a relationship or not which is good because sex is great for both our mental and physical health when it is done right.


However, it is a shame that lesser women are confident enough to carry a condom in their purse when they are going out on dates or going to places where they might have sex.

The reason why most women do not see the need to have a condom in their purse is usually that they do not want to seem presumptuous, they feel embarrassed when they open their purse and someone sees a condom in it, or they don’t like sex with condoms.

With this in mind, who do you think a sexually intelligent woman is and how can a woman be sexually intelligent?

What is sexual intelligence?

Sexually IntelligentThe first question that might run through your mind as you read this is whether or not there is such a thing as sexual intelligence. Indeed, sexual intelligence in a real thing and many people feel women shouldn’t have it.

Being sexually intelligent means embracing your sexuality and being smart enough to get the best out of sex without compromising your mental health, physical health or happiness in the process.

A sexually intelligent woman takes full responsibility for her desires, make conscious efforts to work on her and establish a good relationship with herself before going further to love and start a relationship with other people.

Sometimes, ladies find themselves in abusive relationships, but they can’t let go because the sex is good. Other times ladies stay with a person who abuses them emotionally because they feel they can handle it if the sex is always going to be there.

A sexually intelligent woman owns her happiness and doesn’t think someone somewhere has to take their sanity in exchange for sex.

Having sex with someone who refuses to use a condom because you want to please them is not a sexually smart decision to make. Before you have sex with anyone, you have to be selfish and understand that your health is your priority, so you have the right to insist on using protection.


Women who know what they want from sex set original goals and draw out possible plans on how to achieve them. You might want to have an orgasm at least three times a particular week because you need the after sex glow that’ll make your colleagues wonder what you’ve been up to, or you might want to ease off stress after the week’s works.

If you do not have a husband or a boyfriend, you have to make smart moves to achieve these goals and do so with your safety in mind. That means that you have to be bold enough to spell it out to whoever you want to sleep with that you have protection with you, and you intend to use it. Whether single or married, sexual intelligence can help you build a loving and long lasting relationship with your partner.

However, you cannot become sexually intelligent in a day; it is a lifelong work in progress. As time passes, you flow with the changes that come with it and keep learning how to be the best version of yourself. Tips on how to start your journey to sexual intelligence

Dump the emotional baggage

Many of us find it hard to let go of some emotional baggage we have carried with us from our pasts. It is usually not easy to forget those hurtful experiences, and they always find a way to show up in our present. Find help but going for therapy or talking to a psychologist about it.

The first step to indeed being happy is making a decision to be happy, so you have to decide to help yourself. If you were sexually abused as a child or you were raped as a teenager, there is a chance that such horrible experience would interfere with your sex life as a grown up.

Sex with someone you love is a beautiful experience and once you can find a way to free your mind from the slavery of your past, you are sure to become happier sexually and otherwise.

Take care of your physical health

When people say looking good is good business, they may be referring to how you dress, but for me, looking good start with how you see yourself when you look in the mirror. Yes, we are encouraged to love ourselves the way we are, but there is no harm in trying to look better.

If you have been overeating and putting on some unhealthy weight, this is the time to watch it. Eat fruits and vegetables so you can look younger and your skin can appear fresh and healthy. Consume wholesome foods and avoid processed foods.

Make out time to work out even if it’s for 5 mins before you go to work every morning. The beautiful thing about exercising is that it boosts your self-esteem and improves your libido. Brush your teeth and see a dentist regularly so you can have a flawless set of teeth when you smile. Polish your nails or cut them and keep them clean. Above all, take good care of your vagina.

Take responsibility for your sexual health

You can’t afford to contract sexually transmitted infections and other diseases so make sure to have a regular talk with your partner on ways to improve your sexual health.


If you suspect that your partner is cheating, there are chances that he or she is doing so without protection. Make sure to avoid such relationships if they are beyond fixing. Study to discover ways in which you can help your sex life go from regular to WOW! And invite your partner to join in learning.

Keep educating yourself

When it comes to sex, you never know it all. Read books and watch movies regularly so you can improve on your knowledge about sex. Know and embrace your sexuality because that’s the only way sex can become meaningful to you.

If you have access to people who can teach you more about sex, or if there are seminars on sex around you, try to take advantage of the opportunity. Do not be scared to know yourself sexually. Touch yourself so you can discover how you can reach an orgasm.

Once you know what gets you to the big “O”, you can tell your partner and make it easier for the both of you to enjoy maximum pleasure from your bedroom activities.

Be bold enough to carry a condom

Get this now; nobody has the right to make you feel bad for wanting the best for yourself. Go out with a condom in your purse so that if it becomes necessary to have sex, there would be no excuse to do it without protection.

A woman who is daring enough to carry a condom with her is a responsible person and knows that although sex is important, her health is a priority.

Love yourself

Every woman is beautiful regardless of their skin tone, hair colour, or age. Love yourself and take good care of yourself in every area so that you feel complete and happy. Once you can find happiness in your own company, you can love other people easily without holding back.

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