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Sex Dreams: Why You Have Them?

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Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

There is one place where all humans find themselves every once in a while unconsciously, and that is dreamland. Not all of us are privileged to recall the scenes from our dreams, but if you are one of those who can remember dreams, you will agree they can take you anywhere and make you do unimaginable things while your physical body remains on one spot.

Dreams can be erotic, they can be scary, and they can be a replay of past events or an insight into the future. Some dreams are entirely uninfluenced by factors that can be traced, but when it comes to sex dreams, experts have been able to link them to several everyday life causative factors.

A large percentage of teens and adults have had sex dreams at one time or another. Some people have them less often while some others have them frequently. In some cultures especially some West African cultures, it is believed that sex dreams are an indication that the dreamer has a spiritual wife or husband and some religions have supported this claim.

Sex dreams can be in different forms; you could see yourself having intercourse with a person of the same gender or the opposite, you could see yourself watching people have sex or even watching porn, you could be masturbating, or even just kissing and making out.

The point is, when it comes to sex dreams, the scenes can run a gamut. However, people have said that having sex dreams may not necessarily mean they have a sex-related meaning embedded in them.

According to Caleb Backe who is a health and wellness expert at the Maple Holistics during a talk with Bustle, “Sex dreams are almost never about sex.

They are more often about wanting to make a new connection between two parts of oneself that are coming together, or that ought to. Your co-worker or boss represents a part of you, and you obviously represent a part of you.

Sex is the physical merging of two bodies, and a dream is a mental projection of that desire — to integrate a certain part of you into your daily life.” However, many things can cause you to have a sex dream, let us take a look at some possible factors.

1. Real life changes

Dreams provide humans with a broad avenue to express all our desires unconsciously. Having a sexual dream could be a metaphor for some moves you hope to make or have already made in some aspects of our lives.

It could be a change of environment, a change of job, or maybe something you have become enthusiastic about in recent times. One life change that can make a person have a sexual dream is marriage.

This is a lifetime commitment that changes your life from the moment you say “I DO” and you decide to take it seriously. If you are a virgin and you have been looking forward to the wedding night when you can get naughty for the very first time, you are very likely to have sex dreams.

2. You are probably sex-starved

If you have not been having sex and you have been getting horny a lot in real life without any opportunity to satisfy your desire, you are likely to dream about having sex.

Your brain knows exactly what your body has been craving, so it is only expected that it explores possible ways to help you express yourself sexually even if it means you are having sex in your dreams.

3. Creativity

If you have been exploring your creative side recently, there is a chance you will have sex-related dreams. You may be thinking of redesigning your house, planning a party, or just trying to expand your business. It doesn’t matter what it is you are up to, in the world of dreams, creativity and sex are connected.

4. Attraction to someone

If there is a person you are attracted to in waking life, they are possibly going to sneak into your dream and maybe attempt to have sex with you. If you have been fantasizing about having sex with that person, expect to be having a nice time with them with your eyes closed.

5. Attraction

According to Dr Johnson, “When we dream of sex with a particular person,  this doesn’t necessarily mean we have a crush on them.

When we unwrap the dream and explore our associations to it, we may find that the person in our dream has certain qualities we would love to have, such as confidence or a sense of adventure. Sexual dreams can point us towards ourselves and what we need at this point in our lives.”

If you keep having sex dreams about a co-worker or your neighbour, it doesn’t mean that you have imagined sex with them; it only says that you think there is something unique and attractive about them.

Like I earlier said, sex dreams have nothing to do with real sex most of the times, so it is OK if you choose to enjoy them. And who knows, you just might get an orgasm too.

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