One of the oldest, deceptively complex, and most recurrent questions throughout history is how best to build strong families and raise happy, successful children. Indeed, human beings have spent virtually the entire length of our time on the planet trying to crack this code—you can bet that parents in Medieval Japan struggled with the issue, as did parents in Victorian England and Ancient Egypt, as well as those of us who are parents in the present day.
However, child psychologists, sociologists, and researchers working with family-oriented nonprofit organizations have begun to shed some light on this age-old problem. After a great deal of long-term study, it turns out that families with children who are generally considered to be happy and resilient through early development and adolescence and who have successfully transitioned into adulthood share some commonalities.
These findings are perhaps best summarized by a feature article published by Time Magazine featuring an in-depth examination of seemingly ordinary families whose children grew up to be extraordinary. While the article’s exploration of common themes among the families—like parents who happen to also be professional educators or parents who allow children the space to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes—may not raise too many eyebrows, there are one or two shared traits that might be surprising to some readers. Other familial themes explored by the article were elements of political activism present at home, a counter-intuitive policy of tolerating or even embracing sometimes-dangerous experimentation and confrontation that Time labelled “controlled chaos”, as well as the two themes around which this piece is organized: parents who are immigrants and families who have experienced a death.
Helping to make sense of these conclusions is Michael Amin, Founder and CEO of Primex World Inc. and Founder of the Los Angeles based philanthropic entity Maximum Difference Foundation (MDF), an organization whose mandate includes a concerted campaign of advocacy for the mothers and fathers of young children to learn more about the art and science of parenting. MDF is well-known within the charitable community for its long-term efforts to motivate parents to read books, watch educational content, attend courses and seminars, and, if needed, consult therapists about how best to raise their kids. MDF also supports many charitable organizations.
Lessons in Mortality
“When I first read the Time Magazine article on ‘Super Families,’ I’ll admit that when I reached the section titled ‘Lessons in Mortality,’ I found it somewhat counterintuitive. But the more I thought about it and looked into the matter myself, the more it began to make sense—especially from a standpoint of resilience. Experiencing the death of a loved one is a terrible thing, but it also teaches children about the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing each moment. This awareness can foster emotional strength and a deeper appreciation for life if the parents handle this well by being attentive and nurturing,” says Amin, before further expounding that death brings with it even more of a silver lining than some might assume. “Most children—and even most adults under age 50—rarely stop to consider the reality of their own mortality. The idea that life is finite often remains abstract until they are directly confronted with loss. Seeing with their own eyes the effects of a close family member passing away can be a profound and transformative experience, making clearer the urgency of time and the importance of making the most of one’s opportunities.”
There is evidence supporting this perspective. Research from Columbia University published by American Psychologist found that kids who experienced the loss of a family member demonstrated enhanced resilience and emotional intelligence when compared to their peers who had not faced such loss. These qualities contribute to building stronger interpersonal relationships and better coping mechanisms in the face of adversity, which, more often than not, translates into improved mental health and emotional well-being. And while the loss of a loved one is devastating, this research indicates there is at least some silver lining in that it can prompt a more developed sense of stoicism, internal strength, and gratitude.
As parents, we can help our children process loss, understand mortality in a healthy way, and develop greater emotional strength. Let your children know it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or even angry. Share your own feelings (in moderation and appropriately based on age) to show that emotions are a natural response to grief. This openness helps children feel more secure and understood. Gently reinforce the importance of appreciating each day. You might invite your child to share one thing they’re thankful for at dinner or focus on small moments of joy throughout the day. This helps them see life’s fragility in a positive, empowering light.
Immigrant Drive
In the Time Magazine article, immigrant parents are a recurring commonality in so-called ‘Super Families.’ On this point, Michael Amin is far less surprised. “Speaking as an immigrant myself, I can attest that certain intangible characteristics are necessary to navigate life in a new country,” he says. “In order to thrive, you need to be adaptable, disciplined, and resilient in the face of new challenges. You need to work really hard. Immigrants often arrive in a new country with little more than their skills and a deep commitment to providing a better future for their children. This naturally instills values of hard work, persistence, and gratitude in the next generation.”
Beyond these qualities, immigrants also tend to be natural risk-takers. Of any given population, only a small fraction will leave behind the familiarity of home, extended family, and lifelong connections to start a brand new life in an unfamiliar land. Those who do take this leap are willing to delay gratification, knowing the first few years will be very hard but that long-term success is possible with careful planning and stick-to-it-iveness. In order to succeed against the odds, they must think ahead, strategize, and research their path. These qualities not only help them adjust to their newfound surroundings but also shape the mindset of their children, who grow up witnessing firsthand what it takes to overcome adversity. Parents can encourage children to experiment with low-stakes challenges, such as trying a new sport or learning a difficult piece of music. This helps them learn how to face uncertainty and understand that risk can lead to growth.
One family profiled in the Time article, who immigrated from India to Kansas, personifies these principles well. The parents arrived in America with very little money but an unwavering belief in education and discipline. They retained the strongest aspects of their Indian culture—like deep respect for elders, a strong sense of duty, and academic rigor—while also embracing the best aspects of American culture, such as individualism, open-mindedness, and innovation. Their children grew up with the best of both worlds, blending traditions from India with those of their new home, which gave them adaptability and a broad worldview—an undeniable advantage in today’s increasingly globalized society.
Within their household, success was not just an individual pursuit but a family mission. Chores were never assigned—they were simply done. If something needed cleaning or organizing, the children took the initiative rather than waiting to be asked. Parents reading this can ditch the chore lists or a rigid allowance system and try encouraging your kids to observe and problem-solve. Instead of saying, “Take out the trash,” you might ask, “What do you notice that needs to be done around the house?” This simple shift builds awareness, initiative, and responsibility.
When it came to Poor grades, they were addressed immediately, with proportional consequences that reinforced the idea that effort and discipline mattered. Over time, these daily habits became second nature, helping the kids develop a strong, character-defining work ethic. With your own children, instead of imposing rigid rules, try creating an environment where effort and responsibility are the norm. By doing this, you’re teaching them to take ownership of their achievements and setbacks, which builds long-term internal motivation rather than dependence on external rewards.
These are lessons any parent can implement. Families can instill the same principles of responsibility, hard work, and self-discipline in their children. If your child does well on a test, shift the conversation from “Good job!” to “What do you think helped you succeed?” and “That must feel really good.” If a child is struggling, rather than just saying “Try harder next time,” ask: “What could you do differently to get a better outcome?”
Michael Amin emphasizes that children learn far more from what they see than from what they are told. “If you lie, your children are likely to lie. If you take shortcuts, they’ll do the same. Kids don’t just listen—they watch. They absorb how you handle setbacks, how you push through struggles, and how you take ownership of your responsibilities. If they grow up seeing their parents overcome life’s roadblocks and stay committed to something bigger than themselves, that stuff sticks. Lectures about hard work and discipline only go so far. You’ve got to do the hard work alongside your children if you want them to grow up to be truly happy and successful.”
Amin’s organization, MDF, spends a considerable amount of effort exploring and raising awareness for these and similar insights into parenting, ultimately seeking to create what he calls “units of positive change” in the world. These units of change stem from his philosophy that both time and resources invested in a cause should yield the maximum benefit possible, much akin to the concept of return on investment (ROI) that businesses aim for. Inspired by his success in the private sector. Michael Amin applies this ROI strategy to philanthropy with a focus on high-impact, result-driven solutions.
The name of the foundation itself reflects this philosophy—Maximum Difference Foundation is dedicated to making the greatest possible positive impact with every dollar it invests in its initiatives. Its efforts go beyond advocating for better parenting; it supports a diverse array of causes, working with organizations like Doctors Without Borders, the National MS Society, the Innocence Project, the Center for Constitutional Rights, Human Rights Watch, Jewish Voices for Peace, and Amnesty International.
However, one of MDF’s major focuses is its mission to improve parenting by encouraging parents to learn and take ownership of the growth of their children. And within that mission is a tacit understanding that raising happy children is more important than anything else. The Foundation operates on the premise that parents want their kids to be successful because they want them to be happy, but sometimes get this concept twisted around inside their own minds. “Goal number one is happy children,” asserts Amin. “Goal number two is successful children. But they are connected—achieving goal number one leads directly to achieving goal number two.”
Although MDF does not directly offer parenting classes, its approach is one that’s rooted in advocacy and inspiration. Michael Amin, as the Foundation’s driving force, believes that happiness should be the primary objective of parenting as it sets the stage for long-term success in adulthood. By fostering a home where children are happy, supported, and encouraged to grow, parents are naturally setting their children up to make meaningful contributions to society later in life.
“Parenting is not just about shaping the future of your child—it’s about shaping the future of humanity,” he offers. “When we prioritize the happiness and positive development of our children, we create a better, more resilient world for the generations to come. Our children are the ones who will inherit the planet, and it’s our responsibility to equip them with the tools they need to excel, no matter what challenges they may face throughout their lives—for those challenges are sure to be many, difficult, and unpredictable.”
