Getting along with sisters-in-law or potential sisters-in-law could be very frustrating whether or not they had a very tight bond with their brother before you came into the picture. However, you are now an essential part of their brother’s life, so they are likely to become jealous and make attempts to frustrate you and make you look terrible in the eyes of other people.
If you are currently experiencing such a problem with your boyfriend’s female sibling or sister-in-law, I will have you know that you are not alone on this boat as millions of women around the globe have had both similar and worse experiences with jealous sisters-in-law.
There are a few simple ways to deal with these seemingly toxic people but bear in mind that if you have a brother or brothers, you are going to become a sister-in-law to someone and you have to treat them with love, respect, and fairness. Now that we have established the fact that you should treat other women the way you want to be treated, we can now devise techniques to deal with the sisters-in-law acting challenging to please and causing drama now and then in your home.
Before you decide how to deal with your sister-in-law, you need to be sure of the status of the relationship between your herself and her spouse (that’s if she has any). If you notice any form of instability, then you know she is merely exhibiting jealousy because she doesn’t have the kind of relationship with her spouse that you have built with her brother (Typical case of loneliness always seeking a friend).
If your sister-in-law is single, it also means that she envy’s the fact that you have a relationship and she hasn’t got one, so she tries to make you miserable as well. If you realize she is neither single nor having a bad connection with her spouse, then it is evident that she is a naturally toxic person and people around her must have noticed that.
So how do you deal with the heartache and frustration without people getting the wrong impression or misunderstanding your actions? I have gathered together a few tips that might be useful in helping you create a healthy atmosphere and sustain your love life in the presence of your critic of a sister-in-law.
Love your sister-in-law regardless of her attitude towards you:
This may seem like a difficult thing to do, but it does work like magic if you can build resistance against her hurtful behavior towards you. Kindness towards an antagonist is usually an effective weapon to break their wings and win the battle against them especially when they try to paint a bad picture of you in the presence of other people. A friend once complained about how her boyfriend’s elder sister would say things to make her look stupid and unreasonable before her potential mother-in-law a couple of months to her wedding.
She was frustrated, but each time such a thing occurred, she smiled at her sister in law and indirectly reminded her that she had come to the family to stay with a few kind words. On one occasion, the sister-in-law told her brother that his wife to be was disrespectful for offering their mother a bottle of water without a glass cup, and it was against the family tradition.
My friend smiled at her and said: “I’m sorry you feel that way; I’ll learn with times as I grow with your family.” That is how to stand up for yourself and still not come off as rude. The sister in law had a healthy relationship with her baby brother before he decided to get married thus she had insecurities and saw the bride as a threat to those insecurities. Finding a new playmate was what she needed but telling her that would be rude, so wisdom was profitable to direct in this situation.
Killing people with kindness is supposed to melt their hard hearts because it makes them realize they have nothing tangible to hold against you mainly because you do not act as though their negativity affects you in any way. It also makes them look and feel stupid because of their efforts to injure you emotionally is not yielding desired results.
Talk to your man about his sister’s behavior:
It is only logical that he addresses the issue as the problem is from his family and not you. If he knows the truth, then he has to stand up stand up to his sister in the most subtle possible way so that she knows her boundaries and give you the respect that you deserve.
If you notice he always takes the side of his sister, then you are probably not welcome into the family, and that’s your cue to board the next bus away from a lifetime of emotional torment.
Do not flaunt relationships that hurt your sister-in-law in front of her:
If you notice she behaves in a certain way when she sees you chatting and laughing with her mother or other family members, try not to do it too much so that it does not look like a deliberate attempt to steal her spotlight every time there is a family gathering. If she gets jealous whenever you get romantic with your spouse, then discuss it with your partner and try not to do it every time she’s around the both of you.
Define the boundaries:
Do not talk about your relationship with your spouse in her presence or to her. Your spouse should also avoid conversations that have to do with how the both of you live your lives when talking with his sister. That way, you cut off every form of intrusion from her. Be as private as possible because gossip is a tool used by jealous people to tarnish other people’s image. If she knows nothing about you, she has nothing on you.
Reside as far away as possible from both your family and your husband’s:
Staying in a different state or that is not so close to your extended family does not mean you do not like them. It only says you treasure your self-respect and privacy. It also saves you the stress of having them walk into your home whenever they feel like it and trying to run your home.
Furthermore, in-laws are not terrible people. They are an addition to your family which only means more love and more people to make your life fun as well as a support system in times when you are down or need help. See and treat them like you would your biological siblings and parents because they will be a part of your life for as long as you stay married to their son or brother.
Enjoy your relationship!