36 C
Lagos
Thursday, February 20, 2020
Advertisement

How to Curb Conflicts Among Siblings?

Featured

Researchers Bid to Slow Down Heart Failure

A new research project funded by the British Heart Foundation (BHF) at the University of Manchester aims to find a way to slow down...

Level 3 Qualifications Requirement for Personal Trainers

A personal trainer is a fitness expert that guides people in reaching their physical or health fitness goals. A level 3 qualification equips you...

5 Bad Habits That Damage Your Teeth (and How to Change Them)

You know the ins and outs of a good oral routine - daily brushing, flossing, rinsing, and tongue scraping. But that’s not enough to...

Can Rhinoplasty Alter Your Self Image?

There have been many speculations regarding the effects of rhinoplasty cosmetic surgery on the personalities and self-images of those who go through with them. There’s...

5 Myths About Back and Neck Pain

Living with back and neck pain can be a frustrating experience that holds people back from living to their full potential, and limits them...

Plants Safely Store Toxic Mercury. Bushfires and Climate Change Bring It Back Into Our Environment

Climate change and bushfire may exacerbate recent mercury pollution and increase exposure to the poisonous neurotoxin, according to our study published in the Journal...

8 A-reasons that Makes CBD Oil a Cure-all

Cannabidiol, also known as CBD, is becoming more notable for its benign side effects and low toxicity. Not only that, a lot of people...

Eating Vaginal Discharge and It’s Health Benefits

For many people, vaginal discharge is a sign that a woman is ready and willing to have sex. Vaginal fluid is a whitish fluid...

Improving Your Sexual Life and Granting a Gratifying Experience to Your Partner

Be it a big or a small problem, there are tons of things you can try and introduce to spice up your sex life....

What to do after a Workplace Accident

If you’ve just had an accident at work, however minor, it’s important to know what to do next. Don’t be tempted to just forget...
Avatar
Oluwafemi Michael
Oluwafemi Michael is an online Mental Health Therapist, Advocate for Mental Health Awareness, a programmer, and also a content creator from Edo state, Akoko-Edo LG.

Are you a member of a family where you and your siblings don’t get along? You spend the better half of the day arguing or fighting over things that don’t matter, things you don’t even remember?  It’s almost as if the more you see each other, the more you resent each other’s presence?

Advertisement

Your parent’s intervention only fuels the fire that burns the beef between you and your sibling or siblings. Things get settled for a while only for a little spark to ignite said feud.  You’ve asked yourself why are things the way they are? How did it come to this point?

When did it get to this point in your life where you and the person or people who you once called best friends, brothers and sisters just stopped talking to each other and act like total strangers. Worst still, enemies towards each other?

These are people you’ve known all your life and for some reasons, reasons that don’t even make any sense, you all can’t stand each other. People who you once played hide and seek with are now folks you want to be far away from.

Your parents don’t get it either. They thought it would be a phase that would fade away over time but apparently, it hasn’t.  You barely even say hi or hello to each other in family gatherings.   Deep down in your heart, you are aware some things are missing.

Like a painful crater in the middle of your subconscious, you know a gap needs filling. With everything you do, each day, things you do remind you of them, of how you all used to get along, before the drama, before the calling of pet names ended.

You are jealous of the relationship your friends have with their siblings and how they would laughs and have fun and do things together. Watching them relate with their siblings only makes you miss your’s more. You want to bridge that gap.

You want things to be the way it used to be in the family. Yes, they said some nasty stuff, maybe even hurt your feelings but perhaps so did you. One thing is clear though; someone has to be the bigger man or woman if that’s the case.

It is said that ” families stick together no matter what”. The bond between you and your family has worn thin since the distance between you and your sibling or siblings got bigger.  How do you fix something that’s already broken? Steps to fixing a broken family relationship:

1.  Acknowledge the fact that two wrongs don’t make a right:

Nothing would be solved if you keep dwelling on the idea that you did nothing wrong, and expect to get an apology from your sibling or siblings. Understand that it isn’t about who is right or wrong, it is about getting the love back into the family.  Each member of the family has a side to their story. It would help if you kept an open mind.

Advertisement

2. Be in a positive frame of mind:

If the decision is to call a family meeting to fix the issues you and your sibling or siblings have, do so with a clear mind free of anger. Do not raise a discussion when you are upset. It would only cause arguments or fights and that invariably defeats the purpose.  It is also best to know when each member or members of the family isn’t angry. That way, you all can converse on the same page. Approaching an issue when you are mad only worsens the situation.

3. Accept your mistakes:

Mistakes are bound to happen as we all make mistakes. Your sibling or siblings won’t be mad at you if you never wronged them in ways unknown to you. Owning up to your mistakes is a bold step to healing. Being the first person to say sorry doesn’t make you weak. It only proves you are strong enough to move on and the respect would be accorded for the bold step you took to saying sorry.  Right or wrong.

4. Give prior notice:

It is important to note that people have plans. Calling a meeting without first notifying the member or members of the family may be met with a closed door. Make sure to check their schedule to see if they have travel plans, office meetings, children school meetings if any. This way, you only do not intrude into their private affairs, but you also show that you respect their privacy.

5. Talk not argue:

The purpose of a meeting called is to ensure the unity of a family among you and your sibling or siblings, but it wouldn’t make it easy if points raised are formed in a harsh tone. Ensure to communicate as clearly as possible. Avoid arguments; it would only cause more conflicts that may get physical. These go against the initial plan.

6. Make your point as clear as possible:

The main aim of a meeting called is to resolve discord between you and member or members of the family. Make that as clearly as possible without shifting blames to anyone. Make the members or members present that you are after peace and would appreciate it if they would support the cause.  It is best to do this in a people-friendly environment. Someplace where they would feel most comfortable to talk.

7. Be open to questions:

A member or members of the family you are having issues with might have some questions for you. Be sure to answer them as calm as you can. No matter how provoking or invasive the subject may be, give your answers most civilly and formally way possible.  Consider your responses before delivering them.

8. Step back:

Everyone wants to air their view of the situation. It is advisable not rush a member when it’s their turn to talk. Listen and understand the message they are trying to pass.  Members understand boundaries, and they’d respect the idea behind the meeting if you appreciate them enough to let them speak. This process inevitably brings the purpose of the meeting to fruition.

9. See a professional:

Consulting with a counsellor isn’t a bad idea if you are your sibling or siblings are willing to give it a try. Seeing a professional doesn’t signify disharmony among the family, it only shows you and your family are eager to all it takes for peace to reign. Ensure that this is what you and your family need to work it out, if necessary.

The decision to fix a toxic relationship among siblings isn’t an easy one, most especially if a member or members of the family becomes very adamant and doesn’t want to yield. Patience is very vital as it goes a very long way into healing the broken bond in the family.

More articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Trending now

Cold Water Vs Warm Water: One of Them is Damaging to Your Health

Most people reach for a cup of coffee or a cold cup of water right upon waking up. But, it turns out that in...

9 Diseases That Lemon Can Destroy!

Lemon is one of nature’s many wonders. The citrus fruit has numerous health and beauty benefits – it can reinforce the immune system, improve...

Eating Vaginal Discharge and It’s Health Benefits

For many people, vaginal discharge is a sign that a woman is ready and willing to have sex. Vaginal fluid is a whitish fluid...

Genital Warts: Do They Go Away Naturally? What to Expect?

Human Papilloma Virus is the causative organism for genital warts. The virus is available in various strains, and it can be contacted by many...

Anklet Charms and Hot Wives What Do They Mean?

Women all over the world love to accessorise. From putting on necklaces to wearing makeup and buying the latest trending clothes, women are ready...

Fun Foods for Camping

Cooking can be the biggest part of the fun you have while out camping. Your appetite will absolutely open up once you are in...

Kinky Sex Punishment Ideas You Should Try

Is your submissive being a spoilt little brat? Are you noticing some unwanted behaviour? Do not be dismayed. Sometimes subs can be naughty, and...

How to Increase Appetite in Children Naturally?

Poor appetite is the leading cause of malnutrition in children; every child pass through this phase at a point in their lives, others make...

12 Most Dangerous Cancer Causing Products in Your Home Today

The dozen products you will see on the list below are considered carcinogenic. You might be surprised to learn that some of these common...

Scarves Are Perfect for Kinky Sex

Scarves are one fashion item I love a lot. For some reasons, these light pieces are the best friend a girl can ever have...

Friends