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How Sexual Role Play Can Boosts Intimacy in Your Relationship?

We all have imagined ourselves being different people at one time or another. Though it is humanly impossible to be all the characters we have imagined in real life, it is however possible to be whoever you want and whenever you want if you decide to role play.

While growing up, we all at some point have engaged in role play with our siblings or friends at school. I remember playing the role of a mother many times as an elementary school student and how I enjoyed having my husband beg me to serve him lunch whenever we had those make-believe couples fight.

This may seem like a rather childish thing to suggest grown adults engage in, but it in fact could actually fix quite a number of bedroom problems if you know what I mean.

Role play isn’t necessarily kinky sex. While kinkiness is the use of unconventional sexual practices which could include introducing pain and suffering of some sort to satisfy your sexual desires, sexual role play is simply taking on the role of a different person, changing your character to fit the role you have chosen with the aid of costumes. This way, you get to explore different fantasies and fetishes that could seem taboo in normal everyday life.
Sexual Role PlayWhy try role play? Let’s take an imaginative ride together. Here is a couple who have had issues with their sex life for a couple of months majorly because the routine became boring. Create a mental picture of yourself being the man in this said relationship as you read.

You return from work one evening and you hear Marvin Gays “let’s get it on” playing from the kitchen, you become inquisitive and decide to walk into the kitchen to find out what’s cooking, and you see a lady “your lady” on some red lacy lingerie, swaying her hips and inviting you to dinner. She’s saying “Welcome to flirty kitchen, tell me how you want your dinner served.

Tonight, we have the stripper special with me as a topping on the menu, would you like some of that?” While you are smiling from ear to ear, she notices your erection, offers you a seat, and also offers to help you check out what is going on in your pants.

OH! She feels a lump and says, “Dear customer, please recline on your seat while I give the situation down here a quick fix with my tongue” Flirty kitchen has just offered you dinner with a happy ending and spiced up your almost gone sour love life. Let’s give it up for the kitchen with the best customer service for the year 2018! I’ll tell you what we have achieved here;

  1. The man has just seen his lady differently and sexier than he has seen her in the last few months. He has never imagined her working as a restaurant attendant because she is a classroom teacher who enjoys the regular sex routine they engage in.
  2. The sex at that point has gone from boring to exciting. What man doesn’t like to explore?
  3. His libido has been reawakened
  4. A greater connection has automatically been built between the couple.

Claiming that sexual role play only heightens the pleasure you derive from sex would mean underrating its awesome capabilities. Role playing breaks inhibitions by allowing you express yourself without fear, especially if you find it hard to express yourself to your partner in this manner in real life. what better way to use your imagination and sexuality as tools to make things possible. You can also try out new positions without fear of being judged by your partner.

We have been conditioned to believe that men are enticed by what they see, and women, well, what they hear. This is simply evolutionary biology as smart folks like to term it. Hence, role play allows you to explore your creativity both in words, character, and your ability to visually entice your partner. Humans love to feel wanted and important. The thought of your spouse fantasizing about you in your absence or while they are at work, in a way, boosts your self-esteem.

Role play helps you create a mental picture in your partner’s head that keeps their thoughts fixed on you for a longer period of time than regular sex. People who have engaged in erotic role play claim to have had longer sex sessions than when they had regular sex.

However, your partner wanting you to Play a character to have sex more exciting does not in any way mean that he or she is bored of you and has imaginations of being with someone else. It could however mean that they seek to live their secret fantasies and they want you to come alone on the journey. Better you than anyone else.

How do I introduce erotic role play to my relationship? Role play doesn’t have a manual all it requires is your imagination and creativity. Because some partners are not open to trying new things, if you feel that your partner will not consent to it if you discuss it with them before hand, then I advise you not to make it a topic to be discussed but to just be spontaneous with it.

Don’t be scared to take baby steps and don’t worry about things going wrong in the process. If you have an unfaithful partner or you suspect them of cheating; While you wonder what edge the side chick might have over you, you should remember that whatever it is she does have a way of keeping your partner going back for more. Your ability to spice up your sex life goes a long way to determine your relevance to your partner sexually.

You should consider having some of these role play supplies around the house; scarves, handcuffs, sex toys, costumes of different characters you would like to act as, and some erotic music too. This is a chance to appreciate your partner more sexually and vice versa.


Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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