Sex addiction, sexual dependency or hypersexuality is when an individual’s life is dominated with the need to have intense-based experience surrounding sex- the thought of sex, planning his or her conquest or encounters. The dark life of the addict becomes more critical than another aspect of his life such as maintaining regular eating habits, exercising, maintaining a strong work ethic or fostering healthy relationships.
An addict organises his or life around the escalation of engagement that is risky regardless of the disaster it could cause. It is not uncommon for a person with a sexual addiction to justify his or her behaviour; they are usually in serious denial that a problem exists.
Maybe you’ve Ben dating someone for a while, say a couple of weeks or a long term relationship but lately, things don’t seem right. There are things about your partner’s sex life that you suspect they might be trying to keep secret from you. It might just be any reason, maybe they are hooking up with someone else, or they are going through a tough time, or maybe, you are dating a sex addict.
He or she is a sex addict if these signs follow them:
1. Sex is her/his most crucial need
Watch out for this sign. He or she can brag about having sex all through the day, no they are just selfish lovers looking for their gratification. Be uncomfortable when your lover is unwilling to delay sexual gratification in favour of getting acquainted with you.
2. Unsafe sex
Sex addicts don’t give a shit about their safety. If a dude is ready to slip it in without first slipping it on, watch out, that’s a bad sign. He might not love you enough, but he should love himself at least. A sex addict won’t care; nothing should come between him or her getting sexual pleasures, not even his or her safety.
Sex addicts are known for leading double lives. If you are hanging out with an active sex addict, it’s pretty sure that they will lie to you. The lies ate numerous. They are not where they say they are; they are not hanging out with the people they say they are with. They lie about everything.
4. They masturbate all the time, no matter how much sex they’ve had
Sex is never enough for sex addicts, and they always want to be on the act, they are never sex satisfied. You just finished having great sex with your partner, super sex, like the best sex ever and you fall asleep, you wake up only 1hr later to find your partner masturbating close to you. Sex is never enough.
5. They have no serious relationship history
They can’t really keep a serious relationship because of the lies they tell and many other weird behaviours. They might have had multiple relationships but never a serious one.
6. They always get what they want in bed
Yes! They are very good in bed, but they always want to be in control. Sometimes, they are mistaken as control freaks, but this applies to sex-related escapades. They want to be in charge the whole time, and you may end up feeling you are less their partner than someone being led around and controlled.
7. They are constantly flirting
They are loved by everybody at work, in school, in social gatherings. When they go out to bat, if there’s a cute bartender, they chat her up, they send gifts to their ex, they text a lot of females, never crossing the line though, but they end up getting what they want.
8. They never leave their phone out of sight, and always log off their computer
They can even take their phones to the shower, they can never leave their phone lying on the bed, and they are not on the bed with it. They look nervous if you want to borrow it. They always minimise their computer anytime you come in to talk and log out everything when you want to use it. You might think they are hiding an affair; they may also be hiding a sex addiction.
9. You are being pushed way outside your sexual comfort zone
It’s OK to explore kinks, but if their sexual interests become all-encompassing, and you are being pushed physically, emotionally beyond your comfort zone, then your partner clearly has some issues that may add up to sex addiction.
10. Your gut tells you they are one
The worst place for you and your addict is the place that stays within the lie. Don’t try to persuade yourself that nothing is going on. Recognise it and talk about it. You may want to think they won’t be receptive to talking. Find it within yourself to confront, and you will be surprised at the outcome.
Are you dating a sex addict? Have you been with a partner who was a sex addict? How did you manage the relationship? Did they get help? Share your expereience in the comments.