The human sexuality is a very complex, fluid concept that we continuously find new and fascinating things about. Until recently, a majority of the world’s population – especially deeply religious and conservative countries – believe that sex is solely between a man and a woman or wife (depending on who you ask), but countless studies have shown otherwise. Sexual intercourse can occur between a man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, and even between several people. The possibilities are endless, as long as there is consent.
Anal sex or anal play is a sexual activity in which the penis is used to penetrate the anus. While it is thought to be a very common activity among gay men, a lot of heterosexual couples practice it. There are many variations of anal sex, and they usually involve the use of sex toys such as dildos and strap-ons, even the use of your fingers a.k.a fingering. Anal sex has and remains a controversial topic in popular culture.
While the younger generation is open to discussing and even trying it, the older generation sees it as a taboo even though some of them are having it. It has been described as “unnatural”, “against the order of nature” and other negative connotations; although, this could be attributed to homophobia as homosexuals are the primary practitioners.
There are many perks to anal sex. The orgasm factor, especially for men is said to be out of this world. Since the male equivalent of the g-spot – the prostate gland – is located in the anus, it makes sense that men may want to explore that area. Also let’s not forget the fact that there is no risk of pregnancy unless your uterus, ovaries or your fallopian tube is in your rectum, and that is impossible.
However, anal sex has consequences if not done correctly. Studies have shown that men who have sex with men have the highest risk of contracting HIV, gonorrhoea, HPV, hepatitis and a variety of sexually transmitted diseases. The anus, unlike the vagina, is not a self-lubricating system. The use of little or no lube can lead to anal tears and fissures. It is advised that condoms and lots of lube should be used to reduce the risk of STDs and avoid anal tears.
If you are about to have anal sex for the first time, it is best to start with a finger or two, or with a small sex toy. The anal canal, also known as the rectum is tight and only meant for taking things out and not allowing things in so going straight to having something as big as an erect penis into your chute without the right preparation will cause intense pain.
Working your cherry with your fingers or a thin sex toy is a great way to get comfortable with the new sensations, and it would help you in communicating with your partner what works best for you.
The anus contains bacteria that are beneficial to you, these natural bacteria help fight infection and cleaning should only be done when you want to have sex as continuous flushing of the rectum is harmful to you. Cleaning or douching your rectum involves the use of water propelled from an enema or fleet kit.
These are small plastic bottles with tiny a lubricated tip which when filled with warm water, is inserted in your anus and forces water up your chute. Doing this a few times until the water runs clear helps you clean up that place. Some shower heads have this feature, and you can regulate the blast yourself.
It is advised that you shouldn’t eat for about 4-5 hours before sex and even if you absolutely must, eat only in bite sizes. Make sure to drink a lot of water for clear skin and a clear rectum.
As said earlier, your anus is not a self-lubricating organ. To make sure that sex is more pleasurable, you should not be stingy with the lube. Although there are two major classes of lubes, that is the water-based, and the silicon-based lubes lubes come in different flavors and types. From plain lubes to the banana flavored and even to the edible. Do not use oil-based lubricants like creams and lotion; these easily degrade condoms. Using lots of lube will prevent you from having anal tears; if you are worried about making a mess, then you shouldn’t be having sex.
Anal sex isn’t supposed to hurt although you may feel a little discomfort for the first few minutes (alien invasion, hello??). The position you first start with determines what makes it more enjoyable and it is entirely dependent on your body. Personally, I’m usually the person in control whenever I bottom.
It is advised that you begin by riding your partner; you will be able to control the movement of his penis, how much is going in and the speed. Also, many people recommend lying on your side and being spooned by your partner. Doggy style is the easiest and most common position to start off with but the downside is that your partner won’t be able to see your face and gauge your reaction, and you have no control over the movement and speed.
It is best to start with small penises when having anal sex then as time goes on, you may move on to bigger ones. Relax, breathe through the first few minutes of penetration. Pausing every few minutes will helps anal muscles get used to the feeling. Communicate with your partner. If you feel you cannot handle it, stop. Anal sex should be a wonderful experience for everyone involved and not a wrestling match.
The most important thing about anal sex, about all sex in general, is that there should be mutual consent between all persons involved. You should never feel coerced or forced into having sex with anyone. Anal sex is not for everyone, it takes guts (no pun intended) to see it through.