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5 Questions You Must Answer Before You Break Up With Your Partner

Have you ever been in a relationship in which you are not sure if you are still in love with your partner or it is just basic mutual interest? You probably may be confused on if you should walk away from that relationship.

Just as the clinical psychologist Lawrence Siegel once said “The decision on whether to end a relationship or not depends on what he or she is expecting.” You may decide to move on or continue with a relationship if what you hoped to get or become with your partner is still intact.

However, how then do you discover when it is time to walk away or why you should walk away? Do you think you probably have had enough or tolerated enough for you to walk away from your partner? What is the icebreaker for you? These and many more are questions we can’t answer for you because they are personal questions.

However, there are some definite signs you may need to take note of which will tell you, and it probably is time to move away from your partner and start your new life. However, you must be completely honest with yourself and answer these questions appropriately in order to move on.

1. Is your partner starting to annoy you?

We must agree that every relationship has its straining point and when you are with a person for an extended period, you are bound to notice some annoying traits of the person. However, it is not just the usual eating loud or dropping a pair of socks all around the house kind of annoying.

We are talking about the significant bouts of annoying such that things you could overlook before suddenly starts being in your face. If the things your partner does or his/her traits which you used to look past so lovingly before becomes quite irritating to you now, then you need to pay attention to it.

We all have our flaws and mistakes, and none of us is perfect. However, once you begin to notice your partner’s every weakness, error and shortcomings, then it probably might be a good time to pause that relationship.

You really don’t need to get to the point where you can no longer tolerate those little flaws anymore. It simply means your partner is not checkmating your feeling anymore. For you to feel so annoyed at the things he had been doing before which you willingly overlooked, it simply means that you have gotten to your breaking point or maybe approaching it.

2. Has resentment begun to affect your relationship?

Every couple has their own kind of run-ins every here and there. It is quite healthy and essential to have these kinds of little fights, healthy even as it helps you both identify where you need to adjust in a way.

However, if you start finding your fights annoying and resentful, there is a problem. If your arguments are fueled with anger and resentment, then you need to check it. If all the time, when you both are arguing or discussing, it is always about your past fights and issues, then it simply means that there is a more significant problem at hand.

According to Siegel, once you start to think about things you are supposed to be doing in your own life or things you are not doing in your relationship which you should be doing, then you must be aware that resentment had begun to creep in.

If you have begun to feel threatened with your feelings of security and trust, one must consider this as a very big red flag.

3. Would you instead do things on your own?

We are all entitled to have our alone time. It is something we all deserve every once in a while as well it is something we all need. However, when you begin to find out that you suddenly start to wish to go on all your adventures without your partner, this is probably a warning flag.

You must always remember that a relationship is based on your choice. You can always choose to be with the partner you are in a relationship with, or you can decide to walk away. If you are wanting to walk away, then you must be able to identify why you need to and if possible, fix things if they can be fixed.

4. What is your view of your future with that person?

Whenever you are picturing your future, is that person included in that future? Do you see a future with the person you are currently In a relationship with? If your answer is yes when you picture that future with the person in it, is a future filled with joy and happiness or it is one filled with anger and resentment?

If you picture a future without that person or if you picture a future that includes pain, resentment, and anger with that person, then it probably is a good reason to walk away from that relationship right now.

5. Are you still willing to try?

You probably may have answered in the affirmative to all these questions; however this doesn’t mean it should be the end. It doesn’t say you should have to call it quits. The question you should be asking yourself is “are you exactly ready to let go?”

Every relationship has its ups and downs and because you are at the downside doesn’t mean that you must give up if you don’t want to. Think about it well. There are always rough patches in a relationship. It is normal for every human relationship to have its problems but are you willing to throw all that away in a jiffy?

If after thinking about it, you notice that you are always sadder without that person that should be an indication that you both can still work out that relationship. You must be able to determine if this is a “we can’t work it out anymore” or “we need to take a break and work it out”.

Every couple has their problems but what makes them a couple is them not giving up on each other. That doesn’t mean that you need to keep being in a relationship you are not happy in. However, if you feel you need to take a break, then go ahead and take the break you want.

If you, however, feel it is time for you to step away and walk out, then you should walk out and live your life. Whatever you do, you must make sure you are happy.

Deborah Akinola
Wirter, poet and public speaker

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