The aim, goal and objective of every real man is to have a woman, satisfy her and keep her for as long as forever, especially in bed. However, a problem most men face is that they don’t know how to achieve this desire; hence they begin to feel frustrated and unhappy. They often make mistakes that turn women off, even when they have the best of intentions. And what are intentions without actions?
Even though being a good, well groomed, friendly guy with a nice paycheck, as well as, having good intention is essential, it is, however, not the only criteria women look out for. It is not even enough to give your woman the optimal sexual pleasure she desires.
There is an understanding all men have to know. Women are different from men in several ways. Therefore, every man must learn and know what to do and what to not to when taking women on the love journey.
In this article, I will explain to you 15 mistakes that drive most women away. These are mistakes that have been gathered based on responses from women. I will also tell you what you can do to avoid such errors. Let’s start, shall we?
Mistake 1: You think she gets aroused by only foreplay
This is undeniably the most common mistake that men make that often causes women to run away. Why then do men make this mistake? You may ask. Men are almost always aroused by what they see as well as physical touch; so, they assume women too should be sexually excited only by physical contact.
The fact remains that women are different from men. Women usually need both the emotional and physical foreplay to get aroused. You must make her feel loved, cherished and adored, and cared for every single moment of the day. It is not only when you want to have sex with her, then you would feel like touching her.
When it comes to creating a passionate and satisfying sex life, whatever happens outside of the bedroom between you and your woman is just as important as what happens in the bedroom. This would help determine if she would enjoy making love to you or not.
Mistake 2: You never allow her to get comfortable before sex begins
Men mostly use sex as a stress reliever and also to release the sexual tension they feel. Women on the other hand always like to overcome all the anxiety and worries they feel before they can get in the mood for sex. This is why you may notice your woman trying to discuss emotional things with you in bed before sex. Don’t blame her that is the only way she knows to relieve her anxiety.
You must learn to make your woman comfortable by doing things that will make her feel relaxed before you think of making love to her. She is not only about sex. She also has feelings and emotions as well. You must get her comfortable if you want her to look forward to making love with you. If you don’t know what to do, simply ask her. She will tell you what she wants
Mistake 3: You skip the foreplay and immediately dive into sex
Foreplay is any activity that gets your woman engaged and relaxed enough hence bringing her into the mood to make love to you. One thing women despise a lot is being rushed through the process of foreplay and immediately enter into sex. They see it as the fact that you are treating them as a harlot.
If you are bent on rushing her, you will only end up causing her pains and injuries when thrusting, and to women, this is no worse than rape. This is one action men must understand to avoid in order to keep their women.
Take your time kissing, caressing and romancing her soft and pleasurable spots(which you must know by the way) until she is sleek, wet and ready for you. If you are planning on a quickie, avoid doing it often.
This is because quickie does not always give your woman maximum pleasure and the best of sexual experience that will make her want you again and again. Let’s face the fact, except your woman is desperately horny for you, quickies are usually only to satisfy you.
So in order to give her maximum sexual pleasure, do take your time to satisfy her and make her feel good. You might even end up having her attain sexual climax just from foreplay.
Mistake 4: You are always being overly conscious of giving her sexual satisfaction
Too much of everything is bad they say. While it is essential to be mindful of pleasing your woman, whenever you are overly conscious, you just might be driving your woman away. Most times young men, who are inexperienced as well as men who have had sexual relations with a woman who have criticised them all through the process of having are the ones who are usually guilty of this.
Whenever they make a move, they always result in asking the woman if she feels good with that move. In another twenty seconds, they ask again if the woman loves what he is doing to her. In another 20 seconds again, he keeps asking the same question.
As much as communicating with your partner is good in bed, you must not overdo it. Once you do, it will get to the point that the woman becomes annoyingly sexual lying frustrated and can almost scream or lash out at her man.
If you are inexperienced or unsure about a woman’s body, read books, watch videos and listen to people who talk about it. You must be confident about what you are doing. If you must ask her if she enjoys what you are doing, ask her occasionally and not every 10 seconds.
Times when you are not asking, study her body language and watch her reaction. The action they say speaks louder than voice. Her actions will let you know if you are doing something right or wrong.
Mistake 5: During sex or foreplay, you neglect the clitoris
Dear Men, do you know that the in-and-out thrusting model of intercourse is not what helps women to achieve orgasm? I bet you didn’t. That is why this article is meant to help you learn. What gives a woman sexual pleasure or pushes her to spiral into orgasm isn’t the thrusting of your penis. Sure it might add to it, but it isn’t all there is.
Here is what helps a woman achieve orgasm. When you position your hands or tip of your penis in a way that puts constant, rhythmic pressure on the clitoris, this will send pleasure signals to the brain, and you can guess what comes next.
Any man who is not schooled in the art of pleasuring his woman by stimulating the clitoris will drive his woman away. It is when the clitoris is stimulated hence sending forth signals to the brain that will make the woman achieve sexual pleasure thereby making her explode into tiny pieces if you know what I mean.
We can’t argue with ourselves here. Both for the male and female, achieving orgasm is the real deal when it comes to having great sex. Don’t treat the clitoris like you would a penis. Most men even like their penis being touched, how much more the woman.
Touch her in several ways at the start, gently and rhythmically. When you notice she is close to climax, ensure that your gentle strokes become consistent and watch her as she gets satisfied.
Mistake 6: Over fondling of the breast
When some men get a hold of their woman’s breast, they tend to grab the breast, squeeze and press them as if they are water balloons or oranges. According to research, some men claim to do this because they have seen too many porn movies where the director tells the male lead to squeeze the woman’s breast and keep fondling it.
While the breast, especially the nipples, is an excellent tool in stimulating the woman as well as leading to ecstatic lovemaking, not knowing how to handle or caress it properly can drive your woman away.
Most women prefer stroking, teasing, rubbing and gentle squeezing of the breast to just randomly grabbing them. To sexually excite your woman, you must ensure that you pay as much attention to her breasts as you would pay to her clitoris
Mistake 7: While having sex, you keep mute
Have you ever head of sexual communication? Yes, there is something like that. Dear Men, ensure you must how to talk romantically while making love to your woman. You must learn to communicate with her while making love. Why? You may ask.
Women thrive on emotions. They thrive on feelings. Silent, uneventful sex that lacks passion, words and excitement created by romantic, ‘dirty’ talks tend to drive women away. Here is what you must understand. The mind plays a vital role in helping women climax.
So, as much as you are stimulating her organs, you must endeavour to excite her mind system by complementing every part of her body. Think of it as trying to achieve balance. If you decide to unlock your partner’s mind through dirty, romantic and emotional talks while making love to her, you are setting her up to experience the most blissful orgasms of her life and at the same time, making her love you the more.
Mistake 8: Ignoring your personal hygiene
Some men don’t pay attention to their own health before sex because according to some men, all that a woman demands from them during sex is the penis. However, it is a must for men to know that women get turned on in their minds before their bodies. And guess what, the door to the brain includes the eyes and noses too.
Bushy smelly armpit hair, dirty fingernails that are unnecessarily long, sweaty body, smelly socks and feet, dirty clothes and underwear, dirty teeth, bad breath as well as rough beard and so on all drive women away. How would you like your woman if she came to you appearing dirty? Be honest would you still be turned on?
Furthermore, during oral sex, you don’t want your woman bringing her mouth close to your penis for oral stimulation while it is unshaved and unclean and then she perceives bad odour from that region. Therefore, dear men, your woman doesn’t just demand for your penis during sex. All your body parts are included too so take personal hygiene seriously before you attempt making love to your woman.
Mistake 9: You are too obsessed about how your woman looks
If you are a man and all you do is to continually criticise the shape, hair, makeup and style of your partner, what you have just successfully done is to drive your woman away. If you are to focus on your partner’s body during sex, then it should be with the intention of complementing her, and not to criticise her.
One big mistake you can make as a man is to compare your woman’s body to another. This is a great turn off. Here is what you are trying to portray to them. First, it shows you are not committed to them, and second, it tells them that you adore someone else than them. How would you feel if your woman thinks someone other than you is great? Trust me; you would not like her doing that to you.
Whenever you do this to her, it brings down her self-esteem and confidence as well as it gets them out of the mood to having sex with you. If they probably eventually have sex with you, they might end up doing it not to spite you. You can be sure of one thing though; they will surely not have that ecstatic sexual experience that will keep them wanting you over and over again.
Mistake 10: You don’t last long in bed
The desire of most women is for their partners to stay a bit longer inside them before they attain climax. Inability to do this or not lasting long enough inside her can drive your woman away. Yes, it may not be your fault, but then you have to do something within reasons to last longer.
Although it is the desire of some men to stay longer, they, however, become confused because they don’t know how long is enough for their women and what to do to increase the ability to stay longer. It has been discovered that women individually have how long they can stay in bed. So it is impossible for a man to know how long they need to hold on for.
It has also been discovered that most women are usually satisfied if their partners can spend at least 10 minutes thrusting in and out of them before climaxing. It sounds interesting, right? In order for you to increase your capacity to stay longer, you must endeavour to pay much attention to your diet and exercise regularly.
Mistake 11: You are terrible at kissing
When you consider Kissing, it is one of the most romantic gestures that also has the ability to be sexy and magical all at once. However, bad or sloppy kisses can drive your woman away. Some women consider the fact that there is nothing worse than a man who doesn’t know how to kiss.
Irrespective of the other skills you as a man may possess in bed, the ability to kiss a woman well is necessary. Consider it the foundation of sex. So if the foundation is sloppy, you can as well consider the sex to be sloppy as well.
Think of a good kiss like a gift or an imprint that you leave on your partner’s skin. Who says you must kiss your partner only on the lips? You are not restricted to just the lips. You are allowed to explore. You can kiss your also on the face, eyes, belly, neck, shoulders, back, thighs, and hands and even down there.
Excellent kisses are a bedrock to a good sexual experience, and you must know how to build on it. Your kisses must be tender, teasing and sweet. If we can safely conclude that bad kisses drive women away, can you imagine what a no kiss would do to your woman?.
Mistake 12: After climax equals emotional shut down for you
We understand that sex has a different psychological effect on men than it has on women. In most men, sex releases chemicals in a man’s body that makes him sleepy, however for women especially when they are not satisfied, sex tends to act as a stimulant for them.
This is however not a good enough excuse for men to check out emotionally right after having sex. Whenever you do this, your woman tends to feel abandoned, used and tossed aside. She ends up feeling as if she is only good enough for sex for you. Trust me when I say this is not you want to make your woman feel.
Any woman who ends up feeling this way every time after sex will definitely not want to come back. No one likes the feeling of being abandoned. Dear men, you don’t have to stay for another 10 hours after sex, if you don’t want to.
All that is required from her might you just staying with her till she falls asleep or maybe only 10 or 20 minutes to tell your partner how you enjoyed making love to her and how you can’t wait to have her over and over again. This signifies that you love her, respect her and cherish what you both have. This will also make her feel adored and admired
Mistake 13: Being sexually inexperienced
At the beginning of this article, I stressed the fact that women often engage the use of their minds for sexual activities that they use their bodies. For a woman, it isn’t just about her body. Making love to her must actively involve her mind as well as her body in order to experience orgasm.
Here is how the brain works. Mostly for women, the emotions that a woman feels at a given time determines how much she would experience pleasure. It is often said that you must make love to a woman’s mind to sexually stimulate her body.
Sometimes, she wants diversities. There are times she may want it hard, at other times she wants it soft. Times may come when she wants it fast, and there are times she would want to take it painfully slow.
If as a man, you cannot provide several sexual experiences or you are not easily flexible in bed, it will drive your woman away. You must be able to give it to her hard when she wants it hard, and play cool when she wants it cool. You must be able to mix all the varieties for her to experience that ecstasy and the sexual climax that will always leave her wanting more.
Mistake 14: Being overly enthusiastic about oral sex
We understand that you also want to derive your sexual pleasure. Having a woman put her head between your thighs and suck your penis is sure exciting and pleasurable, isn’t it? However, you tend to drive your woman away when you become annoyingly insistent about her giving you oral sex.
If you make your woman feel that it is always about oral sex, she may end up feeling like a thirty-dollar hooker in the parking lot of a convenience store especially when she feels compelled to give oral sex. This isn’t a feeling that will endear them to you or make them love you more anyway.
Stop trying to be in control all the time. Allow your woman to decide whether she wants to provide you with oral sex or not. It is not all the time she feels like it. When she doesn’t want to do it, don’t force her.
If you must ask her for it, do it politely; never force her head down towards your penis. While she is giving you oral sex, don’t shove your penis down her throat or keep pushing her head down. It is plain rude. It’s better to allow her to know she’s in control so that she can be more relaxed.
You can also offer a few pointers to show her how you want to be pleasured and then trust her to make you feel good. And please ensure that you keep your genitals clean. Wash yourself thoroughly before having sex. Dear men, kindly shave. Being bushy down there merely is a sign of dirtiness.
Mistake 15: Assuming you know it all
Becoming a Master in any area of life is not your final destination; instead, it can affect the beginning of a journey significantly. For example, top footballers don’t stop practising; they keep at it. They continue training up until they retire. Guess what? Sex is no different.
If you must make your woman crave for more lovemaking time with you, you must avoid arrogance and a know-all attitude. Stop being overconfident in yourself that might just be your downfall.
You must be open to learning new ways of pleasuring your woman and making her comfortable. Try learning her erogenous zones. You must also keep abreast of new styles and positions. If possible, discuss them with her and let her know what she would like to try out with you. In all this, ensure you understand that variety is the spice of life.
In conclusion, to be a great lover, you must recognise that women are different from men in so many ways. You must know the differences so you can learn to use them to your advantage.
Follow the emotional progression your woman goes through before she is ready for thrusting. Build trust and make her comfortable. Ensure she is prepared for you before proceeding to make love to her. Finally, remember that her sexual pleasure is just as important as yours.