What’s the first thing that first comes to your mind when you hear “sex parties?” Excitement? Disgust? Indifference? People react differently when the idea of going to a sex party comes up. Most young people, however, don’t mind experimenting and having the experience.
Nonetheless, you need to understand it’s not your usual indoor sex, so the game is entirely different to play. Well, no matter what you have running in your head, here are ten things you need to know before going to a sex party.
1. Do some research
Sex events are becoming more popular by the day, and hosts try to come up with different ideas to spice things up for attendees. Take the time to find out what the party is really about. The kind of people who would be going, how wild would it likely be, the games that are played etc. Don’t just assume because it’s a sex party that all is safe. You should be well informed about where you are going and what you are likely to do and not do. Find out the rules laid out for the party. You don’t want to attend a party alone for an event meant for couples. Is BDSM likely to happen? Are you open to BDSM? Pay attention to details and don’t allow the excitement (if it’s your first time) make you miss essential information.
Your number one rule should be consent, and it should be applied in every sexual situation. Although the term “sex party” might paint the image of wild, carefree activity, that anything can happen, doesn’t mean you must have sex with everyone at the party. Getting and giving consent before any sex act is highly critical and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Sex party experts also added that “You always have that power to say “no” when you need to,” and so do other attendees who aren’t on the same page with you sexually.”
3. Party rules
There are a number of don’ts. Asides being able to give and receive consent for sex, sex parties have rules and regulations that need to be understood, so things don’t go out of control. Some parties request that you cover your face with masks, while some insist you come with a partner. To save yourself some embarrassing situations that would have looking like a lurker, know the rules of the event!
4. Making friends
Just like you, many people go to sex events with the intention of making friends. People meet each other at these parties, and they share common interests. This is enough just to make being friends easy. Willett who is a sex party expert says that “ I think that a lot of people at these parties are going as much to make friends with other people who are poly and sex-positive as they are with finding people who they can have sex with.” She also added that “ a number of them feel a lot more like community events.”
5. Not everyone there wants sex
Everyone knows what they want from social activities, but not everyone is extensively open to having sex with strangers but don’t mind attending these parties nonetheless. They could be there for something else entirely. “I don’t always attend the events “recreationally” but rather as a stage comedian because I have a pretty sex-positive act”, says Willett. Some people are there to makes sure attendees are well entertained with drinks, snacks, and music.
6. Be logical
You are likely to attribute every orgy with scenes from the movie “eyes wide shut” when you hear “sex party.” Sex events can be amazingly awesome or awkwardly boring. People come to such events with one common idea but go about it differently. So don’t assume the worst or the very best. That is, go with an open mind. There are party poopers who would forever remain uptight, while others just wanna have fun and aren’t bothered about displaying their kink. Where do you fall in?
7. Voice your boundaries
Don’t be afraid to express your limits. In fact, it is the most critical aspects of attending a sex party. Being clear about your boundaries allows you to find the right match with people you give sexual consent to. It also saves you the drama of compromising situations. Think of ways you want to enjoy yourself at the party and how best to relay this information. This would make other attendees weigh their option and know whether to hit it off or move on without wasting your time.
You could consider the following;
- Gender identities of attendees you don’t mind hooking up with.
- If you can handle one and more people at a go.
- Are you into Bondage sex?
- Are you into older men or women or would rather be with younger people?
The list goes on, just ensure u are very precise about what you want and you aren’t afraid to get it.
8. Observe first
If you are unsure of what to do before going for the event or you are already at the party and what you expect isn’t what you are seeing, then I’d advise you sit and watch for a while. This allows you to weigh your option, get comfortable enough to know where to pick up from. In fact darling, you really don’t have to engage in any of the activities if you don’t want to. You should understand you are not there to please anyone and as long as the party rules don’t state that you must be “sexually involved”, then you are free to sit back and feed your eyes.
9. Stay sober
You don’t want to wake up after a sex party with blurry memories of you doing silly things that would have you regretting all because you couldn’t control your drinking. If you must drink or smoke, ensure to keep it very minimal, so you don’t lose your senses. You don’t want to get too intoxicated and embarrass yourself, do you? Few shorts is okay to take the edge off if you really have to. You need your senses intact, so you can make the right decisions especially since you are dealing with strangers.
10. Know your boundaries
I don’t suppose you need to be told that you have to understand that other attendees have their own opinions. These opinions, like yours, needs to be respected. You don’t want to cause a scene by going against the rules of the party. If it is something you can’t handle, don’t even start at all. Don’t give anyone the impression you can handle a sex position or perform an act just because you want to be seen as cool or sexually active. Respect your boundaries and be sure to ask other attendees politely if you can join in on the action before actually joining.
Have you attended any sex party before? What was the experience like? Would you like to have another wild experience? Share with us in the comments. Thanks!