Parents work extra hard to provide all the necessary things to ensure their children lack nothing. Nonetheless, some parents go overboard and show affection the wrong way for fear that their kids might go astray. Some parents become too strict in the quest of wanting discipline, while some fail to give their kids the attention they require.
How a child is raised in a family is very subjective, and most of the time, mistakes are made. Mistakes parents look back and wish they could undo. The first years of your child’s life are the most critical part, and care should be taken in bringing them up the right way. But what are those supposed errors we make when raising our kids? What are the things we do that shape the lives of our children in ways we might regret? Read on.
1. Failure to maintain communication with your child
One of the fundamental requirements of a child’s growth is constant interaction. A child that has grown from being a very dependent baby into a self-sufficient person requires consistent contact with an adult, and the immediately available adult being the parents need to maintain a good level of communication.
It is both healthy for both child and parent to communicate, no matter how busy a parent is, you should find time to interact, play and bond with your child. It is true that kids distract themselves with toys and other kids their age, but it is crucial that on some occasions, you spend some time with your kids.
Tickle them, play soccer with them, teach them to ride a bicycle, get ice-cream together, make funny faces and have a good laugh. This is not only physically beneficial but mentally as well. You need to cultivate this habit before your child grows up and gets used to not communicating with you.
2. Not giving enough hugs often enough
Hugs are very important for physical, moral and mental health. The advantages are tremendously vast that it would be unreal for you not to make it a habit of hugging your child. It wouldn’t take anything from spreading your arms wide open and having to feel the warmth of your child. Who doesn’t like a good hug?
Some parents get so busy that they can’t take a second to hug their kids, or they simply just don’t embrace because they believe kids would get used to getting hugged and it might get out of hands. This is just fallacies; I ’d,” my children get used to being hugged than regret not hugging them at all and watch them grow not getting used to it.
3. Not taking enough family photos and videos
Nothing terrible happens if you don’t take pictures or make videos, but it is also true that memories are significant, and one of the best forms of doing that is by taking pictures and making videos. You don’t want to look back and wish you had trapped some moments in photos but didn’t. His first time in school, first bike ride, or her first hair-do; all these memories are worth keeping.
Many parents regret not using a camera more when they should. Keeping photo albums, videos on CDs, and pictures on frames are one of the best ways to share weekends together (family time).
4. Extremely strict parents
Discipline is a very vital tool in bringing up a child in the right way. However, telling a child off for being naughty is one thing, but it’s a different ball game when a parent start nitpicking on a child.
Aside from the risk of having your child resent you (not fear), he or she begins to avoid you, and this builds a weak relationship between you and your child.
5. When your child’s opinion doesn’t count
Most parents never fail to remind their kids that they “are too young to decide”, “too young to understand,” “Only adults understand” and whatever, to put a child down from airing his or her opinion. All parents mean well for their children but some parents exercise this fact to a fault and assume kids don’t know what’s best for them as well.
By not listening to your child’s opinion, you are indirectly raising an insecure child. Children who are being talked down constantly would find it difficult to contribute when it matters, and this may affect their self-esteem to a certain degree that it might be too late to fix. It is imperative that you allow your kids to talk and even more critical that you listen. This doesn’t mean you have to do their bidding; you only encourage them to express themselves.
6. When you are told how to parent your own child
Almost everyone assumes they know one or more thing more than you and that includes raising your child. People would readily give you advice on how to raise your kid, even if it is improper and young parents make the mistake of listening to them.
The truth is, no one knows your child more than you do and no matter how they try to teach you to feed or dress or school your child, you know how best to raise your child. So don’t let anyone mother or father your child for you. You are the parent, the guardian and role model; do not confuse the child and yourself by doing something you wouldn’t usually do just because they told you to.
Of course, you can listen to the advice they all give, but this doesn’t mean you have to follow them.
7. Allowing strangers discipline your child
Kids get naughty; it is in their nature to piss you the parent off on occasion. I mean, I’m pretty sure you did worst with your parents, but this is no excuse to have them punished by a stranger. No matter what, never be against your child in front of strangers, even if you have to punish them later for whatever it is they did.
Never give your child the impression that you are not on their side. They need to feel supported no matter what it is they did and would feel even more sorry for what they did, than resentment for when you give a stranger the leverage to talk them down.
8. Not playing enough games together
It’s helpful if you grow the habit of engaging in different activities as it helps you determine what your child has interest in. You also get to know what they are good at. It could be soccer, swimming, tennis, or even reading, anything that helps them develop their imagination, intelligence, and mental state.
This not only helps your child develop, but it also strengthens the bond between you and your child as you regularly involve yourself in developing your child’s interests and talents.
9. Not being there for your child when they need you most
It is vital that you are present when your children want to engage in things that mean so much to them. Things that may not seem so serious or important to us can be the most critical part of their lives. They could even be memories that stick till they grow old. It could be their first day at school, birthday or first soccer game, it could even be decorating the Christmas tree. Don’t miss out on anything they are excited about.
10. When you don’t make your child happy enough
Good childhood memories are the most valuable gifts that nobody can take away from us. Spare some time to create fond memories with your child, so they have something to look forward to doing with you.
Your child has a higher chance of being healthier, smarter and even well behaved if you spend more time with them doing things that intrigue and fascinates them. It’s easier for happy kids to adapt to adult life and develop new and healthy relationships.
What are those things you do with your kids? How often do you play with your kids and what are the benefits? Feel free to give your answers in the comments. Thanks for reading.